Are you a working mom who is thinking of transitioning to a stay-at-home mom?
Or maybe you are a new stay-at-home mom who feels lost and frustrated.
Becoming a stay-at-home mom can often bring on feelings of fear and overwhelm. It is a big life change and it is not something that you can be completely prepared for.
The transition to a stay-at-home mom from being a working mom can be tough at first.
As with all things though, it does get better with time.
Here are 21 essential tips to help your transition to stay-at-home mom be less of a struggle.
1. Relax the first week.
There will be plenty of time to figure everything out. Just take the first week to adjust and enjoy that you now get to stay at home with your child(ren).
2. Coffee!!
And lots of it! (or tea – whichever you prefer) I do suggest you get a mug warmer or an insulated travel mug because I guarantee you that otherwise, you will be having to warm your drink back up 3+ times in the microwave!
3. Get ready every day.
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to put on a full face of makeup.
Take a shower, put on something that is comfortable and yet makes you feel pretty, and you can apply some makeup if you would like.
You will feel much better than if you lounged in your pajamas every day (do this occasionally though!)
4. Create a schedule/routine.
This is important because children thrive off of routines. They are much happier when they know what to expect.
Yes, it does take time for them to get used to it and they will resist at first. It will be worth it though!
I also suggest making routines for yourself (morning, evening, etc.) This will help you to be productive, rather than wandering around all day feeling overwhelmed and not knowing what you should do.
5. Keep on top of the housework.
Don’t expect to get your house spotless, but be sure to have the basics done at all times. You don’t want the housework to pile up, so much that it leads to anxiety (I have dealt with this personally).
Create a cleaning routine for yourself.
I like to follow Clean Mama’s cleaning routine because it breaks up cleaning tasks day by day to prevent overwhelm.
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Asking for help does not mean that you are a bad or incapable mother. We all need help sometimes. This will help both you and your family.
Don’t wear yourself out because that will have a negative effect on everyone.
7. Patience.
Being a parent, in general, requires a great amount of patience. Kids love to test your patience all of the time.
Being a stay-at-home mom really requires patience because you are with your child(ren) 24/7.
8. Vent when you need to.
Find someone who you can talk to when you need to vent. Another stay-at-home mom who will understand what you are going through. Or your mom.
If you do not have anyone to physically talk to, then use a journal to write out your feelings. Either way, you need to get them out in order to make yourself feel less stressed.
9. Give yourself grace.
Don’t let others’ expectations of you change the expectations you have for yourself. You need to know that your schedule and routines will not always go as planned. Do what you can and let that be enough.
10. Get out of the house often/get sunshine.
Take it from me, being a stay-at-home mom can make you go extremely stir-crazy! This can affect your children as well.
Make sure to get yourself, as well, as your kids out in the sunshine as often as possible.
Also, make sure to get yourself out on your own regularly.
11. Remember that you are still an individual.
It is very common for stay at home moms to feel like they have lost their identity. I have personally felt this way and that is one of the reasons I started this blog.
You are more than “just a mom”. Make sure you are caring for yourself just as much as you are caring for your family.
12. Get a hobby.
What did you enjoy doing before you became a mom? Maybe you feel as though those things are too time-consuming.
Either, make time to participate in those activities, or think of other hobbies that you can dedicate small amounts of time.
It is important to have some kind of hobby in order to keep yourself busy and to enjoy something that is just for you.
13. Keep in touch with friends.
This can become a difficult task once you become a mother.
Unfortunately, relationships do tend to change when someone has a child and their other friends do not. Your lives become more difficult to relate to and thus the friendships may slowly come to an end.
If this happens to you, find new friends that are moms themselves. Then you will have someone who can relate to the things you go through as a mom.
14. Create goals for yourself.
Have personal goals for yourself to work towards. This is another tip for preventing the feeling that you are nothing more than a mom.
15. Do something for yourself every day (self-care).
I am sure you have heard it before. If you do not take proper care of yourself, how can you expect to care for anyone else?
Make self-care a routine.
Even if you just take 15 minutes a day to do something for yourself, by yourself. Doing so will make life better for yourself, as well as your family because you will be a happier person for it.
16. Talk to your husband about all that you do, so he understands that you work all day too.
Keep communication open between the two of you, especially when it comes to what you both spend your day doing. If not, feelings of resentment can begin to arise.
Both of you need to realize that you are both working hard each and every day. That needs to be recognized and appreciated by each person.
17. Regular date night with S.O.
Get a sitter at least once a month, so that the two of you can have a date night out together. Don’t have a sitter? That’s okay! Plan a date night at home.
After the kids go to bed you can make a nice dinner and then after, watch a movie or play some games together (this is what my husband and I would do when our son was little).
18. Spend time with your kids – be mindful/present.
As moms, we tend to have a million and one things constantly running through our minds (especially if you deal with anxiety as I do).
It is important that we spend quality time with our kids and be in the moment with them as we do so.
I know this can be really difficult, but try your best to only think about/focus on the activity at hand.
19. Enjoy the little things.
Take notice and feel joy over the little things. These things can be the sound of your child laughing, the feeling of hugging them, and exchanging “I love yous”.
20. Take it day by day.
Some days will be better than others. Had a rough day? Remember that’s not how it always will be and look forward to starting anew the next day.
21. Enjoy it!
As I’m sure you know, kids grow up way too fast!
Enjoy each season of life with them because before you know it, you’ll be moving on to the next one and you can’t get it back.
Which tip for transitioning to a stay-at-home mom did you find the most helpful? Let me know in the comments!
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Great tips, I’ve been at home now for 2 years and still love it. I need to work on the regular date nights.
Glad to hear that you are enjoying being a stay at home mom Gemma! Why do you think you struggle with regular date nights? What would you like to do?
It is tough to be a SAHM. I did it for many years and I cannot tell you how true your tip is to make a schedule!! It is so easy to have your day slip right through your fingers if you wing it!! Great tips!
I 100% agree with you, Diane! When I don’t plan my day out it flies by and I have accomplished absolutely nothing. I thrive off of a schedule because otherwise without one I have no idea where to begin and what I should be doing.
These are all amazing tips. I feel like setting a routine was hurdle in the house!
Setting routines can be difficult, especially when you have kids. I am still trying to figure out a good routine. It just takes trying something out and then changing what doesn’t work. Then rinse and repeat until you find a routine that does. It won’t always work out perfectly, but as long as it works for the most part then you should be good.
What great suggestions! My hubby and I have always made date night a priority!
That’s great Kelly! What do you and your husband like to do for date night?
Being a stay at home mum definitely isn’t easy. These are great ideas and they are important to remember even when you have been a stay at home mum for awhile.
I agree with you Candice. Being a mom, in general, is difficult. I have been a stay at home mom for a long time, but still, find myself struggling at times. I am glad you found these tips useful. If you have any others feel free to share!
I love being a stay at home mom, but it is definitely a challenge! I could relate to everything on here for sure!
Yes, I am very grateful to be able to stay home with my children, but it can be very difficult. Which tip do you think is the most helpful to a new stay at home mom?
I love all of these tips! I’ve been a SAHM for nearly 4 years now and I still struggle with a handful of these, and it definitely affects my sanity!
I am glad that you found the tips helpful Christine! I hear you on having your sanity affected. I feel like I am losing my mind a good chunk of the time. It is all worth it though!
One day I hope to make the transition to SAHM. While I can’t wait for that day right now, I know that it will be tough at points. Thanks so much for the great tips!
Being a SAHM has its trying times for sure, but it is well worth it. I hope that you get the chance to become one Beth. So glad you enjoyed the tips and remember to come back to them if/when you need them!
Great tips! Being a stay at home mom is no easy task.
You got that right Stephanie!
These are great tips! I haven’t had to make that transition, but I feel every one applies to me too!
I am happy to hear that you enjoyed the tips Jen! Being a mom has its difficult moments, whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom. That is why I feel that all moms should stick together because we all have the same end goal, making sure our kids are happy and healthy.
Love these tips! I’m a stay at home mom and I love it so much. These tips are helpful.
How long have you been a stay at home mom Amber? I am very grateful to be a stay at home mom, but definitely need to make more time for myself. Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading my tips!
This is a great post. It took me a solid year to be comfortable with being a stay at home mom. I am so grateful to have the opportunity, but after having a career, it does take adjustment. And it is great to have a post like this to give direction for making that transition.
The transition definitely takes time to get used to. I have been a stay at home mom for a while, but I still feel as though I am adjusting in certain ways. A big part of that is probably from having a second child. My son is about to be a teenager and my daughter just turned 4, so things are interesting, to say the least.
I wish i can be a stay at home mom. I know it would be challenging. But worth it.
Sorry to hear that you are unable to be a stay at home mom as you’d like to be right now Ramona. Hopefully one day you will be able to do so. You are correct on both accounts. It is challenging, but very much worth it.
Where do I start? I became a stay at home mom after working for 25 years. My career was so much of a part of me. And it was tough to lose. It really took me a few years to adjust, to slow down, take a deep breath, and live a more peaceful life. Wow. The thought of it. I have adjusted and found some hobbies in the adult world that keep me active physically and mentally, so important. Your tips are on point, I wish I had them a few years ago when I embarked on this adventure!
I’m so glad you enjoyed the tips Jenny! What hobbies do you participate in? It is so important to have something outside of being a mom, especially when you stay at home. That’s one of the main reasons I started this blog. Being able to connect with other stay at home moms and to have a creative outlet definitely helps.
Wish I had this article 13 years ago! I never realized how tough the transition would be, and that it is a change in your whole identity. It was tough but was the best decision I ever made!
I agree with you Christine. It is a huge change to become a stay at home mom. I feel like I am still adjusting in certain ways and I have been a stay at home mom since my son was 4 (he’s almost 13 now). While it is difficult at times, I am still incredibly grateful that I get to stay home with my children. What is your favorite thing about being a stay at home mom and what has been the hardest thing for you?